Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Parenting with a Chronic Illness

My daughter shared her cold with me (thanks, Miks) and when you mix a simple cold with a "chronic disease" like metastatic lung cancer, well it pretty much knocks me out. I've spent most of the day lying on the couch. After I picked up Zander from school, I immediately lay back down on the couch without taking off my coat or anything.

Zander froze and stared at me lying on the couch and then said,

"It makes me feel like your cancer is growing again."

I reminded him that I just had scans and the cancer is so small they can barely see it.

"I know, but it makes me nervous to see you sick."

He was only 4-turning-5 when I was diagnosed and SUPER sick, and he says he doesn't really remember those days, but I think on some level it has stayed with him.

Sigh.

Also, my apologies that I have neglected this lovely blog for so long. Things are good with my health, the latest MRI showed that the SRS worked super well, so the plan is to keep chugging along with Xalkori and if anything else pops up we will zap it again. All of my creative energy has been going toward getting our Pointless Brewery & Theatre up and running. Things are going super well there, and it has been SO MUCH FUN! A wise person said to me that, in addition to the fulfillment of a dream, this business is a kind of self-care for me, a way to envision the future in a way that is less painful and uncertain than my own future. I think she is correct.