(Big sigh of relief) We have made it to a major milestone, 32 weeks pregnant (the point at which survival and disability rates greatly improve). I remember when this felt so far away.
So what's the plan now? ... um, no one seems to know. Frankly, I don't think the doctors expected that we would make it this far. So when I asked where we go from here, there was sort of a vague "let's see what happens" response. If things stay just as they are, there is no reason to deliver the girls yet. One doctor said that I might even make it to 36 weeks, and he offhandedly said that then the girls could skip the NICU, stay with me in my room, breast feed right away, and we could all go home together. I think my jaw actually dropped. Another doctor got squirmy at this and said we should focus on trying to get to 34 weeks. I was stunned. We have been bracing ourselves for any number of challenging outcomes, starting back with my first visit from the NICU doctors at 25 weeks, who explained what it would mean to have the girls born so early (in a nutshell, not good). I have accepted that I most likely would not see the girls when they are born as they would be whisked away to the NICU immediately, where they would stay for months. So to think that, after such a crazy pregnancy, there is a possibility that everything could turn out so normal? I feel like I shouldn't even dare hope for that.
So, my new goal is to make it to my birthday with these girls still growing in my belly. On my 35th birthday, I will be 33 weeks and 6 days pregnant. If I go to sleep that night still pregnant, we will have hit the 34 week mark (which is considered "late preterm"). Pretty good birthday wish, I think.
In other news, I have put on just shy of 50 lbs during this pregnancy! Amazing! I am now 1.5x my pre-pregnancy weight. I am one-and-a-half Toris! No wonder it feels like my ribs are trying to split in half.
Good job, little girls. Keep growing strong!